Weight


So I was actually getting out of the house without the boys and not going to work.  I was off to a bridal shower.  But I had to make one stop on the way.  I needed a card.  I ran into the closest food store since I had to get cash back for the tolls.  And that’s when it happened to me; I was discriminated against because I am heavy and not as pretty (right now I am sitting on a 5’5 frame at 199 pounds).  Now I know some of you may read this and think I was too sensitive or reading the situation wrong, and that may be.  But that’s not how I felt.

I picked out a card fairly quick since I was running late.  There were 5 lines jutting out in to the aisles.  I was going to stand in line longer than it took me to pick out this darn card.  As I headed down to the last two aisles, since they seemed the shortest, I noticed the lane closed sign up on the one.  I’ve worked at a grocery store when I was younger and I remember trying to leave at the end of my shift.  People would always try and sneak to the end of my line after I put up my sign and boy would it piss me off.  So I stepped into the line across from the closed register and waited.

As I stood there shifting back and forth impatiently I watched the other line slowly dwindle.  My cashier was finally checking out the person in front of me, who had a good amount of items.  The closed register was finally done and he started to clean up his station.

When all of a sudden I heard, pssst.

I look over to the closed register as did the people behind me; a couple, athletic build, blond, cute couple.  The cashier was looking at them and said, “I can check you out real quick if you want”.  And without hesitation they shifted over with their 10 – 12 items.  And there I stood with my card in hand waiting as I heard him say, “I feel bad seeing you wait, I can take you real quick.”

What just happened.  What the . . . . .

How is it that they were invited over and I wasn’t.  I was standing there longer and I only had a card, that’s it.  He could easily see me because there was nothing in the middle to spilt the two registers, the belts were both on the inside of the aisle so the registers both sat on the outside and there was one big aisle to walk through.

My conculsion is that I appear ugly because of excess weight.  Now don’t get me wrong, I am not saying heavy set people are ugly.  I’m saying I am ugly when I am fat.  I have a very good friend that is heavier and she is really pretty.  I couldn’t imagine her thin.  She wouldn’t look right.  I feel the same about Queen Latifa.  She looks great.  She would not look good thin/skinny.

So there I stood, fighting back tears, trying to hold back from making a scene.  You can’t just randomly take customers after you have closed your lane.  There are only three types of people I would consider it okay, elderly, pregnant or a parent alone with a crying baby.  These two definitely did not fit any of these profiles.

So why were they invited over to the closed aisle and neither I nor anyone else was?

I wear my old ID tags behind my new one that I have to get every year at work.  When someone asks me why, I flip them over to about four years ago and tell them, “This is what I used to look like before kids, I haven’t always looked like this”.

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So I went for my one hour glucose test on Monday. I drank the yummy stuff, no really I like it, and then an hour later had my blood taken. They said the results would be at the docs by Tuesday. I waited until Wednesday afternoon to call. Of course I get the snide remark, “Well we would call you if you had a high number, but I will let the nurse know you called.” Well, well, well don’t you know 10 minutes later my phone rings. It says it’s the doctor’s office. They have never called me back so expeditiously. So my level registered at a 143. Not extremely high, but over 135 warrants you to go for the three hour glucose test. After calling around and not being able to find anywhere that can take me on Saturday I give in and set it up for Friday morning. I do have some flex time built up with work and the lab opens up at 7 so I’ll only miss about 2 hours of work. The nurse faxes over my paperwork and I plan my schedule.

I get up as early as possible this morning with plans on getting there no later than 6:45. Well with a child who is not a morning person and a husband who parks me in, I don’t get there until 6:55, not too bad. Boy was I wrong. There were already 5 people there. And of course you couldn’t make an appointment so I have to wait.

I finally get called in, 7:20, and they first check my blood with a finger prick test; this is new. But I was happy because I was going to have a clue of where I was standing. After a 12 hour fasting, I had nothing to eat after 7pm the night before, I registered at 106. Ah crap! I know that’s not outrageous but I hadn’t eaten a thing for over 12 hours!! I should have registered in the 80’s, possibly low 90’s. I just look at the phlabotimist and say, “Well let’s not waste each other’s time and just check the box that I’ve got gestational diabetes. ” Of course that rational doesn’t work. I’m sent back to get my blood drawn and then I get my drink. This one containing 100 mg of sugar and is ‘red soda’. Not bad, I prefer the orange but I chug this one in under 30 seconds anyways.

Out to the waiting room I go. An hour later the take more blood and again for the second and third time. With 5 holes in my arm, counting the one from Monday which is still visible, it’s now 10:30 and McDonald’s breakfast is over and there’s no Burger King around. Great! I was all gun-ho to get my ‘last breakfast’ in before I have to go on a strict diet. (Technically I’m not diagnosed at this time even though I’m doomed.) Oh well, I swing in to a bagel deli where they still do breakfast sandwiches. I guess this is better for me anyways because they make the eggs from an actual egg and the bagel is fresh and not over loaded with butter.

But not to get side tracked, I know have ‘it’. I started my testing at 106 and I don’t process sugar as well in the morning as I do at night. (I learned that the last time I had gestational diabetes.) But there is no way I could fast all day to take that test in the afternoon. It’s just too long. But that’s how I know I have it, there’s no way my numbers will be low enough to pass with starting off high. However I must note that I have only put on 17 – 18 pounds at this point. During my first pregnancy I had put on 30 pounds at this point. So I was trying to do better. Even if I have slacked off on walking, I still was not eating way too much. I tried.

I don’t think they’ll call me with the actual results because I have an appointment with the doctor on Thursday. So she’ll just tell me then what’s up and probably give me the referral to go back for my ultra-sound and see the diabetic counselors. What fun! And to think Girl Scout Cookies are starting up next Friday! Well, at least they freeze well.

So I guess I need to start eating more protein and veggies and less carbs! And start walking 30 – 60 minutes a day. I was doing a minimal of 45 minutes a day my last pregnancy. But it’s soooo cold out, well maybe if I split it up and do two 30 minute sessions or three 2o minute sessions it won’t be too bad. I’ll just walk around my building mid-morning and mid-afternoon every day and then a little at night at home. I guess I’ll start Monday. : (

How in the world are people pregnant with children??  Meaning how can they run around pregnant chasing a child(ren).  The first go around I was able to go home and nap for an hour or so.  Now I have to chase a one (almost 2) year old around.  It’s exhausting!  It wouldn’t be so bad if I was a stay-at-home mom, I think.  But I’m working and then coming home and having to clean and cook (sometimes).  The hubby does more cooking than me but I do more laundry and cleaning.  Lately I’ve given up so it has been more 50/50 and messier!!  But I am tired!  And I never get a second because my son is going through a phase, well he started it at birth, but all he wants is me.  I remind him that he does have another parent but for some reason he doesn’t get it!! ; )   I’m alone with him more than my hubby due to travel time to and from work.  I can’t even go to the bathroom without him.  But then I feel guilty for wanting a minute because I chose this life.  I want kids and I know they are totally depended on you and unconditionally love you.  And even at 30 something I still ‘depend’ on my mom and she helps when I need her to.   And in a way I am afraid of missing something because he’s so cute and does a lot of cute things and he does make me smile more than he frustrates me.   But it is tiring.  We definitely sleep in on the weekends.  And I’ve been very lucky to have a child like me, he likes to sleep and will sleep until 9 or 10 in the morning (depending on when he falls asleep the night before).  But I know all that will change with baby number two.  And I’ll even have less breathing room.  These 2 will be 27 months apart but I definitely think we’re waiting a bit longer if there is a number 3!

On another note, 2 more days until we see the baby!!   I can’t wait, I’m definitely bigger than the first go around so I hope it’s A) not twins; B) not bigger than normal; C) not farther along than what originally we had thought.  And I can’t wait to find out the sex!!  Oh and I have only put on 9 – 10 pounds.  So I am doing good with that and I have roughly 20 weeks to go!!

Well, I’m 16 weeks along and there’s not much new here.  I think I’m feeling some fluttering but you never know, it could be gas bubbles rumbling through.  ‘They’ say you feel the second child sooner than what you felt the first.  So it may very well be the little one swimming around.

I’m not sure how wonder boy is going to take all of this.  The other day when I went to pick him up at day care I held an 8 week old for a minute or two.  I then had to give her up because the boy had a complete meltdown.  I mean tears streaming down his face while grasping onto my legs.  It actually took me almost half an hour to calm him down.  I wasn’t allowed to go near the baby without him pushing me away.  I couldn’t squat because he thought we were staying.  And I didn’t want to put him in the car so hysterical but nothing I did made it better.  But the weirdest thing was he didn’t want me to hold him either.  I tried leaving with him but he didn’t want that.  I’m not sure what he wanted but I finally calmed him down with peanut butter crackers.  So we ate a couple of those and we could finally leave.  It was unbelievable!  Now, he’s never exhibited any of this behavior towards the 2 babies that are there.  He’s always nice and loving.  He talks (babbles) to them, ‘pets’ their hands and feet, and covers them up if their blanket slips.  But heaven forbid if I should get near them.  It will definitely be an adventure when number 2 arrives.  But he will be 6 months older so hopefully we’ll be able to communicate better to him who this new family member is.  I am thinking about getting him a special doll (his own baby) for when we leave the hospital.  Then mommy will have ‘her’ baby and he’ll have his baby.  Well only time will tell.

Everything with the pregnancy is fine.  I ‘m still feeling tired.  And I still strongly want carbs only but I am eating other foods and still taking my vitamins religiously.  I have put on a total of 5 pounds now.  But it is still much better than my last pregnancy where I was up 15 pounds at this point.

OH, I do have something.  I was able to schedule my second ultra sound for December 5th.  This is where they will check the baby all over and determine the sex!  Yep, I’m gonna find out.  I have to, I’m a planner.  I need to know what I need and what I don’t with already having one child.  I can’t wait, just a month to go until I know!!!

O-kay, now that’s all!

What can I say. I’m not running to the bathroom every hour to empty out what I just ate, I haven’t put on a pound yet, and I don’t break out. But I am pregnant. I do have food aversions, but it’s just more like “I don’t want that now” type feelings. The only way I know I’m pregnant is that I’m not able to take my allergy meds. I’m on my 3rd sinus cold since I got pregnant. Which absolutely sucks! Oh, and I am extra tired. I can’t take naps after work this time because I always have the boy until hubby gets home 3 hours later after us.

It’s been a bit lonely since Duke’s been gone. It was rough sleeping the first couple of nights. Every little noise I heard I was waiting for a bark, that never came. A small part of me was hoping that my allergies were connected to him since I only started with allergies when we all moved in together, but no such luck. So I guess I am allergic to Wonder Man! HA, I knew it! : )

As I mentioned before, I am doing well maintaining my weight. I am eating the best that I can, due to aversions. And I try to walk when I can. I’m actually still wearing regular clothes still. But I am definitely showing.

And that’s about it, not much going on here.


So I had an ultrasound done to see the little one. I am having trouble posting the actually pic but this is what s/he looks like at 9 weeks. I feel like it’s going to be another boy however the heart rate was very fast (175bpm) which is kind of funny due to the issues I’ve been having with mine! But there’s a myth or old wives tale or whatever, that believes that girls tend to have faster heart rates in the womb than boys. That may have some merit but it doesn’t always follow that ‘rule’.

I got my results back from my blood work that I had done. Which did include my glucose testing. I PASSED!!! Right now I am clear of gestational diabetes!!! For those of you who know or care, my number came in at 108. Which is really good. I won’t be tested again until I am 28 weeks. Which means I get my holidays this pregnancy! Last time I found out the week of Thanksgiving that I had gestational diabetes and missed out on pigging out! Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not going to go overboard but I really hated missing out on my Christmas cookies and Thanksgiving pie.

So now it’s time for weight to weigh in! I haven’t gained any weight yet!! By this time my first pregnancy I had put on 10 pounds. Now the ‘wonderful’ doc that I saw (which I really don’t like and she has no bed-side manners) told me that I should not put on any weight until I was in my fifth month (20 – 24 weeks) and then only put on 10 pounds (for the remaining 16 – 20 weeks). HA! HA-HA-HA! 10 pounds, are you kidding me! Apparently she doesn’t have any children. I put on 35 my last pregnancy. Now after I was diagnosed with GB I only put on 5 pounds for the remaining 12 weeks. So I guess theoretically it is possible. But come on! I think she tells me 10 expecting 20. I know I’m no skinny-mini but it’s not like I”m Snuffleupagus here. I’m 5’5, 188 and medium boned. Oh, and was raised in a meat and potato family and was always told I needed to eat more, I’m too thin. Which I never was too thin, in fact I was never thin! Just average.

So everything else is going well. I have my sneakers in my car now so I get out when I can when I’m at work. I’m definitely not walking as much as what I should and I keep saying that I will but the tiredness is definitely still working on me and I’m going through another sinus cold. It’s because I can’t take my allergy medicine and then I get too bad and I end up really sick. But I’m eating my chicken noodle soup and drinking my fluids and trying to rest, the best you can with an active 1 1/2 year old! That’s about it for now. Thanks for listening and I’ll keep you updated!